Abuse ramblings

Recently I have heard a ton of talk about abuse. There is someone at work who complained about the smell of another. I have another friend who does not like foreigners. Why is he a friend? Well, I hope to change his mind over time. He needs a friend to do that. Another co-worker is complaining that we are in his bubble while he works. Abuse?

            I am not so sure what abuse is. Is it our discomfort while working? Is it the right to be accepted? How about telling a spouse the truth? In Jamaica I saw a girl tell her spouse to adjust her beach chair. Crazy enough he got up and did. Is that abuse? I heard someone say that they know so many men who dictate the lives of their wife. Certainly, in this day and age that can’t be right? Yet, I thought about it and maybe it’s kind of true.

            I know a man who generally dictates all the trips. Even I have dictated some of our trips. I’d like to think we do my wife’s things too, but it has made me think. In my past marriage we went nowhere. Is that on me? I know another man whose wife has said as much. In a bird’s eye view they only go where he wants. I know several pastors that chose ministry but regretted not asking their wife along the way.

            My pastor said it’s on us men that we tell women to be lawyers. We tell them that motherhood is dirty work. We need them to be CEO, a boss, and numbers in parliament. It’s a different look but maybe we abuse women so that we look good. We plan a trip. We plan their lives. We make it easy for them by adjusting a beach chair. What is abuse?

            What about God? 1 Corinthians 7 was written a long time ago. A time when women were an asset in a community and marriage. Yet, what separated the Christian was in how they were commanded to treat their marriages. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. Equality and abuse are a two-way street in a Christian marriage. I realize that most people are not Christian. Yet, doesn’t it sound about right to be treated equally in a marriage?

            A man will lead his life. Does that mean he leads his wife? I know a woman usually leads the sex and home. Dominatrix? If I had a dime for every marriage that is dominated by one or the other I’d be rich. I hear the complaints all the time. Still, we have a roll to play. Are you just a marshmallow? Is it more comfortable your way? Why do so many people pick a spouse they can control. Then in ten years the other gains a pair and leaves.

            I have seen it all too often. Yet, we assume a lot. I know a brother that abuses his little brother. I bet his wife too. Why? I know a friend who wants life a certain way. Like hell is he not going to get it. Did he ask her? When God calls a man to ministry they say he called the whole family. oh, now you speak for God too, men? I have read the books on pastor’s wives. It’s not pretty. Oh, I have noticed. Most pastor’s wives are very pretty. Why indeed? A selling point?

            They say divorce is alive and well in the pastoral. I have never seen it. yet, I have seen unhappy wives. I have seen tremendous abuse of women in the church. We assume a lot. I know women that have told me to be quiet. It’s better than nothing. Really? God’s plan? Ephesians 5:25 means nothing then. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

            I mention the church because of all places, this should be the cornerstone of a loving marriage. Yet, it’s how we trade and sell beautiful women. How often do we see ugly singers? Ugly female pastors? Ugly children’s coordinators. Who choses them? Men do stupid. We make quotas for female police, ministers, and teachers. Qualified? Right for the job? At Canada post I have never met a higher up female that was not hot. Never in 30 years. Who hired them?

            To be fair a hot woman can go along way. Who sets the path like a thirsty dog? Yet, once inside it’s a rabid dog that guides her life. Men pause and are silent when a woman makes small ideas. Women talk in whispers because they know. I am not happy with the push to elevate women these days. They are not made to try, work for it, and fight. We have just assumed that when men call a woman will run. Unfortunately, they usually do. By the way the pretty ones seem to run faster.

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