It's Canada eh

             Today is Canada day or at least when you read this it was on July 1. I still come with mixed emotions on this country. The ideology of us is pretty simple. We say “sorry” just because and I don’t know why. We say “eh” and I’m sorry about that. I am very sorry about the weather but not about loving hockey. The politics suck but where in the world don’t they. We love “The Hip” (music) and Wayne Gretzky (hockey again), and “Cherry” (not the tree). Welcome to Canada.

            I grew up loving the Queen. She was ours without being ours. I grew up wishing to be American but wishing Canada would remain Canadian. There are very good reasons neurotic people say sorry all the time.          Being in-cased in snow 6 months of the year will do that to you. Summer is cherished here. Winter is cherished here (hockey thing). We elect people to keep us safe while we argue over having a military at all. Our dollar is called a loonie (go figure).

            We probably have one of the cleanest countries in the world. There is a definite difference across this land. British Columbia is just plain weird. Quebec is a spoiled French colony we captured. Ontario thinks they captured the rest of Canada. They made a tall tower to spy on us in the west. We love baseball in Toronto but despise their hockey team (see leafs suck). I’ll take their home grown hockey players though.

            Politically we are weird. We have rednecks, French separatists, and a bunch of hippies (sorry B.C.). I hate mentioning Saskatchewan because they just suck as Riders fans. Nothing polarizes this country more than Canadian stuff. Don Cherry is hated by many but he is Hockey in this country. We love syrup from Quebec but hate giving them transfer money. Within this is a love for liberal ideology of trying to love everyone. Yet, those nuts are burying us deep in debt. It’s nothing legal dope can’t fix. If any of this is depressing, you can also legally make an appointment to kill yourself now. Perk of being Canadian until after the appointment, your dead then who cares.

            What does God have to say about Canada. Well that is interesting. There is a correlation with the land and people in the Bible. Technically we are a blessed land. Yet, this country is very far from God. There are other ideas that say God allows people to bury themselves because God just wants to see what we would do with the freedom he gave. We are a very free country. I say too free but I am sorry I feel that way. We think different, act different, and believe different. Toleration and church go hand in hand in this nation. I suppose it makes sense.

            Canada loves its taxes and hates its economy. We are snow but we long for summer. In the East they always say wait until the fall. In the West we say wait until the Spring. In Quebec they say wait until the Habs return to play hockey. In Toronto they are still waiting for a good team. Saskatchewan is all about wheat, green football, and moving away. Oh I forgot Manitoba. So did the rest of Canada. Middle of the nation syndrome. Did I mention B.C.? I won’t mention Alberta because we know were good. We love dirty Oil because it’s oil non the less.

            Canada is a godless nation. We love legal prostitution, drugs, and suicide. Our stance on sex and religion shows our heart. I must admit that at -20 sex is probably a good idea. We had a blessed land but I fear those days are gone. Pollution is here. Depleted resources are here. A corrupt political landscape is certainly here. To say we are safer than the rest of the world is just plain stupid. Our day is coming because we have ruined what God gave us with our passive attitude. I am sorry I said this on our birthday but when is a good time, after your suicide appointment?

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