Letter to my future self
I
was driving with my dad the other day and almost blurted out “Tell that old guy
in-front of you to move it.” Then it occurred to me that my dad is old too.
Wait a minute I’m no spring chicken at 49 either. Is it possible I’m entering
that dreaded age of old? Are people yelling at me to move it? I see old buggers
all the time getting in my way. They made the term “Sunday driver” come alive.
Does my dad tell old buggers to get out of the way at his age?
In the mirror I don’t see old. I don’t
see young either. I still call old people “Young fellers.” Is some young buck
(48) going to call me that sooner than I think? I was delivering mail the other
day and saw a very nice butt bending over a garden. When she stood up I
realized she was much older than I thought. Gee did I just call an old lady
hot? Great, I’m ashamed to look at 20 something’s and horrified to look at 50 something’s.
Do young girls think when they see me “Old man alert?”
I am a Swiftie. Yes Taylor Swift is
cool. Is it wrong for a 50 yr. old guy to like her (in the right way). Is there
a right way for a 50 yr. old guy to like her? Ok, I might have looked weird
singing and jumping around at her 1989 concert this week. Who cares because at
my age I can feel young and old at the same time. I can be sane and senile too.
Why do people say I’m too old? If I say I’m close to death they say I’m too
young. Your all confusing me at my age.
I went to my grandma’s funeral this
week too, she was 88. That is just 34 years away from me. I thought only old
people died. Taylor visited a 6 year old girl on her tour that is dying this
year. Isn’t that girl too young to die? Gee her grandparents might be younger
than me. All of a sudden I realize that those I loved as a kid are dying. I don’t
have a lot of old people left that I know. This year my class mates are turning
50. Chess club at 17 becomes lawn bowling club at 50. I’m too young to be old
at 49.
What does God have to say about old?
Proverbs 16:31 “Gray hair is a
crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.”
Proverbs 20:29 “The glory of young
men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair.”
2 Corinthians 4:16 “So we do not
lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being
renewed day by day.”
Hey I have some gray hair. I thought
my kids or wife gave me that? Am I getting old? I’m still strong (in a way). Is
having gray hair sexy? Yes my outer (and inner) self is wasting away. My waist
line is not and that sucks. God acknowledges the wisdom of old age. Why not
give us smarts when were young? There is tons of talk in the Bible about
gaining knowledge and being wise as old people. Is that me now? My son said his
future self thinks he is an idiot.
In the morning I know I’m older. I
wish my night before self-remembered that before I played sports, had sex, or
slept wrong. They say the spirit groans for us. I think I groan for him. I love
roller coasters but I’m choosy now. Some of them remind me of my age after I
get off. One is called the “Aftershock.” Yes there are aftershocks in my body
after. I will hike but now I need days to recover. I can’t head bang because it
looks dumb now. I still dance at concerts even if I look dumb.
Growing old had its advantages of
wisdom. Now if only we could remember what that was. I know sex better but can’t
do it as much dang it. I have places to explore (ya when I was young). Now I can’t
make it. The nasty part is the money. When I was young I dreamed of hiking or
climbing this or that but I was poor. Oh sure I have money now, but no body to accomplish
those trips. I am losing my loved ones one at a time like my grandparents (last
one just left). It’s my turn to visit a funeral home to plan. Ya, plan my last
trip. My future self will think I’m a dumb ass if I don’t prepare. Listen to
the song on YouTube called “Wear
Sunscreen.” Some of those things I should have done when I was young. That is
my future self talking.
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