Loving me is nuts

I am surprised on two fronts. First of all, I am surprised by kindness. Second of all I’m horrified by brutality. What is it with you humans. Can’t play nice, can you? On the other side your too sweet. I seem attracted to the sweetness but I understand evil too. What it means is that I can’t underestimate humans. They seem to go to great lengths to be kind and evil. What kind of a nut operates that way?

            Recently I was surprised by a birthday party for me. Really? I have never experienced that in 53 years. I have surprised a few others in my lifetime, but that was them. Why me? It’s odd for me. I feel I’m there but not noticed. In many ways I have lived a life hiding in the back ground. Anyone taking the time to surprise me: surprised me. Maybe kindness is making a comeback. Oh no, wait a minute on that.

            Recently in a country bar in California a shooter killed 13. A synagogue, 11 killed. 58 killed in a Vegas concert shooting. There are plenty more when I read the list. I was actually stunned at the number of killings in the last year. It makes me think terrorists don’t need to kill Americans. Americans are killing themselves quite well on their own.

            What has stuck me is the places. Why on earth or mars would someone kill people in a church, bar, or concert. Sure, it’s a mass of people. Your odds of killing someone is better. Yet, isn’t it too easy. It would be like killing at a senior’s home or a day care. Easy peas targets. Wow, you’re a man taking down people having fun. Where is the peril, accomplishment, and victory? Seems nuts to just kill innocent none aggressive crowds.

            What does God have to say? I must go back to Cain and Abel. It was the worlds first murder. God is curious it seems. He toys with Cain in the investigation. He asks Cain “where is your brother?” Cain is coy back “am I my brothers’ keeper?” It’s an odd conversation. God already knows. Cain knows God knows. Also, God knows Cain knows. There is a verse in Proverbs that essentially says God examines our lives.

            A friend of mine read an article that reported that we don’t detain mental illness in asylums like we used to. Right or wrong it is food for thought. Were people being misdiagnosed, retained, and jailed for minor mental illness? On the flip side are people being misdiagnosed, set free, and ignored with major mental illness? It’s a chicken and egg thing. Is mental illness killing people with guns or are guns the reason mentally ill people kill? God examines the heart.

            Here we sit. Two sides of life yet again: good vs evil. Didn’t we have that conversation already in the garden of Eden? Didn’t we have that with Cain and Abel? How about mass murderer’s vs the police? Hitler vs Jews. Shall I go on? The most interesting part is this. Many people think guns kill. I thought they could not pull the trigger themselves? A finger does that. The brain pulls the finger. Some believe the finger is pulled by being a victim year’s before. Who pulls the trigger?

            Back to my birthday. Great correlation between an act of kindness and serial killers. Who decided I was worth celebrating? What was the trigger? Why did they not kill me with a gun? No, they killed me with kindness. A few people I hardly know and hardly spend time with love me. I am stunned. Why the kindness? I have affected their lives so little in 30 years, yet they cared enough to make me humbled by their love.

            To me it comes down to a choice. Of course, less guns would help. So would less bats, knives, and words. They kill too. A few kind people grabbed a knife and cut my cake. A few nice people cared enough to plan a special day for me unknown to myself. Why take the time to love like that? I feel that killing the innocent is too lame and easy? Where is the dog in that fight? Far too often they plan to kill others and themselves. It’s weak, cowardly, and lame. Where is the man in you? Try taking down an army with guns. Na, you won’t do that would you. They fight back.

            I chose to love those who love me. I try and love my enemies as well. Most of the time the enemies need love. Sometimes they need a swift kick. The theory is that if we expose mental illness then it will be ok. If we free mental patients then it will be better. It’s like people posting on social media hugging a tiger or lion. A real hungry lion? A wild python or alligator? No, that would be nuts? Loving me with cake seems nuts too.

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