I got "The Look"

            The other day I received “The Look” from my lovely bride. As a man it should be no big deal by now. For 48 years, I have received it from many women (none of them warranted). How is it possible that a certain type of facial expression can mean so much? People smile or frown and sometimes we don’t notice, yet “The Look” from a woman is caught every time. I feel there is an exchange going on electronically or something. Men know how to receiver the correct message with “The Look.”

            (Don’t try this at home) Men don’t ignore “The Look.” When a woman gives it to you, it better be received or your dead. Don’t smile, laugh, or shrug at “The Look” or your more than dead. If you try and give “The Look” back at a woman you might as well bury yourself on the couch for the night. Men can’t give looks. Sorry men, women have cornered the market on this one. I do find it strange that this look can scare the hell out of us men. We respond every time. During a game on TV we are prone to ignore women but with “The Look” somehow our attention is gathered instantly.

            I have laughed at other men when they receive this honorary female facial expression. “Ho ho she just gave you the look dude.” My friends try and look (pun intended) brave but they see it on my face “better you than me.” Sometimes men try and portray to other men that they have beaten this trait in women. However, all men know it’s not beatable. “The Look” is a death stare, Vulcan mind transfer, or Darth Vader using the force. It’s the female tractor beam bringing us back to reality. Try as we may, women are in control.

            What does God have to say about “The Look”? Well God doesn’t mention it specifically but in the Garden of Eden I think Eve gave Adam a look. Did you notice that Eve took the fruit and gave it to her husband and he ate it? I bet he said “don’t Eve” and she replied with the very first look in history. Then the Bible says they knew the difference between good and evil: yes, it’s called “The Look.” In John 11, Mary and Martha race out to Jesus to tell him off for not saving their brother Lazarus. Yes men, even Jesus got “The Look.” Jesus is smooth though and it says he wept in verse 35. God knows how to defuse that look with emotion and tears. Women love a good cry.

            So how can we avoid this look of death? Men, we have to face (pardon the pun) the facts: we can’t. The best we can do is learn how to react properly when it happens. I have even been given the look through Facebook. Women are so good at this now that they know how to give it through a key board. Men we can run but we cannot hide from a woman’s scorn. Here are my three simple (and certainly not exhaustive) rules on how to ride out the storm of “The Look.”

1.      Don’t ignore it

Just accept it and try your best to respond in the appropriate manner (basically do whatever they want).

2.      Try and keep your facial response to a minimum.

Look scared they love that.

3.      Give money

They say money is the root of all evil. “The Look” is evil. Fight fire with fire. She will go buy something and forget why she gave you “the Look.”

I'm the Silent Preacher